Dink's Pit BBQ Sauce...you know its good cause it has the word "Pit" in it

Tip of the day: A good BBQ restaurant should look as close to a dilapidated, smoke filled shack as possible. If you encounter one that is fancy and 'upscale'... run away. It should also have a lot of trucks parked in front made by Chevy, Ford or GMC. None of the trucks should be clean nor resemble a Range Rover in any way. Gun racks in those trucks are also a good sign. The clientele can vary but make sure there are at least 3 people in there who look like they can kick your ass.

Now, about BBQ sauce: Devotion to a particular sauce is totally personal and subjective. However, this is my blog so I'm going to claim that DINK'S PIT BBQ SAUCE is one of the best around bar none (I don't know what bar none means but it sounds very final). I like sweet sauce. Dink's is sweet. Done. Its located in my home town of Bartlesville, Oklahoma, and for 10 years I've been shipping it to Los Angles. Is BBQ in LA that bad you ask? Eh, it's alright, but not fantastic by far.

Dink's has served me well over the years; hamburgers, chicken, brisket and that one time I threw it on myself to camouflage a puppy poop stain while at a new boyfriend's house (True story. Full statement of events disclosed at request).

How does Oklahoma BBQ differ from the rest? Here's a quick lesson: Midwest (Kansas/Oklahoma/Texas) are known for thick, sweet and spicy tomato based sauce...lots of brisket. Memphis is more of a dry rub...big on ribs. Carolinas have a thinner, vinegar based sauce. Those are the most important ones...in my humble opinion. You can break it down further and add other regions...but Ill just stick to shipping mine in from Dinks and pouring it on myself in the event of another unfortunate puppy incident.

http://www.dinksbbq.com/

Kombucha...tastes like vinegar and has gunk floating in it. Yum!

If you still want to drink it after reading the title, I'm impressed. I just wanted to get the major cons out of the way so that we can only go up from here (this philosophy probably doesn't work as well on dates). KOMBUCHA is a fermented drink made from a colony of bacteria and yeast. Still not interested? Well, it reportedly has a lot of health benefits like boosting immune system and preventing cancer. Sticking it to cancer is always a bonus. None of those claims are etched in stone, but I do think its refreshing and yummy. Ill etch that in stone any day of the week. Etch is a fun word and very underused these days.
KOMBUCHA is one of those things where people who like it, love it. People who don't like it, make those really scrunched up faces and say intelligent things like "ewwwww" when someone else is drinking it in their presence.

This would probably be a good place to go off on a tangent...There is no faster way to look like a baboon in a barrel (don't ask) than to make disgusted faces and "ewwww" at another persons food. Major pet peeve of mine. I always try to picture someone whom I respect: Meryl Streep, the Dali Lama, Jacques Cousteau or my parents doing something like that... and I just can't picture it (although it's funny to try). I don't care if someone is eating cat poop. If you don't want to eat it, don't, but let them eat their cat poop in peace...Whew!

Back to the KOMBUCHA...there are several brands out there so do your research.

Disclaimer:If you are not miraculously healed from all your woes, from hangnails to shellfish allergies, by the consumption of this odd yet tasty fermented beverage, its not my fault.

Young Thai Coconuts...get your mind out of the gutter.

I was wondering why a lot of dirty old men were logging onto my food blog, and then it hit me...they love food too!
So, back to the fresh, YOUNG THAI COCONUTS....Coconut water is so hip and cool these days, and that's great because it's fantastically good for you, but drinking it straight from the coconut is like night and day to the boxed kind. It tastes like a freakin' sugar cookie melted in there! Delicious! Plus it makes you feel like you're in a romantic fantasy on a deserted island and some tan, beautiful man just climbed a palm tree to bring you a coconut as a sign of his undying love for you..... no? is it just me? so be it then.
Asian markets are the place to go because you'll pay half the price. If you're in LA, the 99 Ranch Markets are my stop. 9 coconuts for $8.99......While you're there, get the coconut opener (red thing next to coconut in photo). Your other option is to whack it open with a machete like knife, (which does make you look way cooler) but if you like all your fingers, trust me and get the opener. If you want to get at the coconut meat on the inside you are going to have to whack it open with a machete like knife. Frankly, having only 4 fingers is a great conversation starter.
I've been known to sit and drink 4 or 5 of these in a row. I've also been known to complain that I drank too many coconuts and now my stomach hurts.

Thanks Erin for turning me on to YOUNG THAI COCONUTS....(that sounds weird to say)

ACAI BOWL...makes you feel Brazilian.

I have a few Brazilian friends. They are super fit and smokin' hot. That doesn't really have much to do with this post, as I doubt the acai gives them their amazing genes, but its worth a mention if you ever want to come to one of my BBQs and oogle them.
I went to Brazil a while back and was introduced to the ACAI BOWL. I, of course, went overboard and ate it daily till my lips were stained purple (it looked pretty good actually). When I got home, I bought a purple lipstick that reminded me of the acai lip stain... but what I really wanted was to recreate the darn ACAI BOWL. Pre made ones at health food stores never quite hit the spot. I finally found this frozen one at Whole Foods (which we lovingly call Whole Paycheck... but if you're gonna spend your money on something, it might as well be your health). As always, look around and you'll find several brands to choose from.
It tastes like crap alone which is a good sign. Plain acai berries aren't tasty. Also it doesn't have a lot of funky ingredients. Rule of thumb (what your thumb has to do with rules is beyond me) should be that if a product has more letters than my real last name (szpakiewicz) don't eat it...unless it tastes really, really good...

Toss in some of your favorite granola, one organic banana and viola! Breakfast is served!

Thank you Dani and Colin for taking me to Brazil with you! I did my best to be as non-embarassing as possible.

Bean and Cheese Burrito...when "filthy" is a compliment.

If there was ever a perfect food, it'd be a burrito...tasty, cheap, easy to eat, filling. Negatives could only be that most of them give you the wind something awful... and probably aren't on the AHA's list of things to eat regularly. I can live with that.

Dos Burritos runs their operation out of a closet sized space in a semi seedy part of Hollywood...which makes them perfect. Tasty, authentic burrito joints should always be in semi to moderately seedy areas and never be spacious or upscale. As you can see in the photo, this partially devoured BEAN AND CHEESE BURRITO is massive, fabulous and messy. Proper terminology for such a work of art is "filthy." Filthy delicious that is. Whatever they use to make it, it works. Enough beans in that thing to feed an army through winter, perfect amount of cheese and their salsa is pretty darn tasty too (and hot). I ate mine sitting in my car. I love eating in my car. People stared. I didn't care.

Oh, and Dos Burritos is open till 3 am. AFTER PARTY!!!!!

http://www.yelp.com/biz/dos-burritos-los-angeles-5

Thanks Albert for the heads up on this place . Thanks JB for teaching me the meaning of a filthy burrito.

Pumpkin Bread...made by nuns = holy deliciousness Batman!

This tasty morsel of nourishment for the body and soul sorta makes me wonder why Jesus multiplied loafs of plain ole bread rather than mouth watering pumpkin loaf...an oversight I'm sure. Its always fun when tasty food also has an interesting story, and this one is pretty good... To get the PUMPKIN BREAD you have to visit the Monastery of the Angels in the heart of Hollywood. There, in the gift shop, you can buy the loaf as well as a variety of candies (I got fudge with walnuts and it was also scrumptious). It's all made by the cloistered Dominican nuns who have devoted themselves to a contemplative life of prayer and study. If you go for the novelty, you won't be disappointed by the taste... the nuns have had plenty of time to perfect their recipe and it shows. No word on whether nuns use organic ingredients, but if there was ever food made with a dash of love and devotion, this is it. Its like a holy bake sale!

As a side note, I ate half the loaf in one sitting, and although I prayed for my stomach to stop hurting, God informed me that I have free will and shouldn't be a glutton. Fair enough Man Upstairs, fair enough.

http://www.op-stjoseph.org/nuns/angels/

Thanks Megan for this great idea and for going with me to try it out! Any word on nuns who BBQ?

John's Garden Caesar Salad...an Oscar worthy average joe.

Its always amazing when something so wide spread and so simple stands out from the rest. It sort of gives me hope in an acting career....
What restaurant doesn't serve caesar salad? You're never going to sit down at dinner with someone, order the caesar, and hear, "wow, you're really going out on a limb today." The problem with it being so common, is that no one really expects it to be anything special...which is how reality TV people get acting jobs in the first place. But, when a regular ole caesar salad comes along that really stands out, it explodes on the scene like Carey Mulligan in The Greatest. Look, I don't know if this post is about food or acting anymore. I got confused after the first line... But the point is that the JOHN'S GARDEN CAESAR SALAD is delicious and something about it makes people claim it's the best caesar salad they've ever had. Other than the salad being yummy, you can walk over from the beach to get it and eat in Malibu's Crosscreek shopping area. There you can enjoy your meal while people watching and occasionally being trampled by paparazzi running to photograph someone famous. You will also be treated to hearing, "you be good out there" when you order your food, as that is the standard John's Garden out-phrase. A good reminder that you shouldn't order your salad and then go mug someone.

Base model: comes with the usual lettuce, tomato, croutons, parmesan cheese and dressing.

Model as shown: with added chicken and avocado

John's Garden
3835 Cross Creek Rd
Malibu, CA 90265

Indian Candy Salmon....best reason I've ever heard to overfish.

If salmon just swam around all candied like this, I would overfish the hell out of them myself. This INDIAN CANDY SALMON from Santa Monica Seafood walked into my life one day and now I have to go there in disguise (or send my sister) so I'm not the weird girl who shows up way too much. Basically, its a smoked salmon candied in what my palate has detected to be salt, brown sugar and natural hardwood smoke. Its also written on the sign, but whatever, I'd trust my palate over a dumb ole sign any day. This is definitely on the list of foods that you can eat till you feel sick. That list is quite long for me, and I might have a problem, but that's irrelevant to this post. As with most things, if you don't live near a Santa Monica Seafood, and planning your family's yearly vacation around INDIAN CANDY SALMON is out of the question, I bet you can find it near you in a good, fresh seafood store. Or, if you are a trapper living in Alaska, just add brown sugar to your monthly food drop and make it yourself. Watch out for bears as everyone knows they like candied anything...

www.santamonicaseafood.com

Have'a Corn Chips...OMG, why are these not the California state chip.

I get it, the Garibaldi is orange and stuff, but its a fish and we can't even eat it because its freakin' protected. What the Golden State needs is a golden delicious chip to represent it. I nominate the HAVE'A CORN CHIPS. So simple: corn, soybean oil, soy sauce, and a dash of lime. I suspect there is something else, like ground unicorn or fairy laughter shoved in there too to make them so addictive and delicious... but I don't think those are organic... so I understand why they wouldn't be forthcoming about using them. No one wants non free range unicorn additives listed on their ingredients label. Anyhow, what really makes these chips special is the soy. I suggest you take up my strategy and pre-open each bag yourself, removing all the darker (soy soaked) chips for your own enjoyment before anyone beats you to it. This has caused a lot of strife in my household, but its totally worth it.
Rumor has it the chips are made by Hare Krishnas... this is apparently false and totally ridiculous since everyone knows they are made by the vampires from Twilight.
I also just read something awful...HAVE'A CORN CHIPS aren't available everywhere?!! Thats the saddest thing I've ever heard right after Babmbi's mother getting shot.
Good thing you can find them online and have them shipped to you! Whew!