Badminton Cup...I'm so glad I was driven to drink so I could find you!

I don't drink. I haven't in years. The fun thing about not drinking is that when you tell people you don't drink they look at you funny, and, if they're brave, they ask "Oh, did you have a problem?" My answer is "Yes, yes I did. It made me fat." Truth is, I rather eat a slice of cake than suck down the same amount of calories in a cocktail. All this brings me to how I found the great and wonderful BADMINTON CUP. My last job taught me the meaning of the term 'driven to drink.' I found myself working on a project that was such a disaster, people, with genuine concern, said to me "Kinga, be careful. This might be a reality show. Maybe they are trying to see what your snapping point is."

Just short of that snapping point we found ourselves at The Slanted Door in San Francisco. God bless that place. We made them furious, were totally unprofessional and yet they still took wonderful care of us. At one point I found myself face to frosty glass with a beautifully presented cocktail... The BADMINTON CUP. I stared at it for a moment, mesmerised by the perfect sprig of mint blossoming from the fresh slice of cucumber; the drink itself, opaque in a way that implies a subtle sweetness with tart undertones; and a dimly lit atmosphere complete with sad music (playing in my head)...then I reached out with the desperate gesture of a person grasping at something that will slow their decent into madness and acts of violence... and without a second thought, sucked half of it down. Now, I might not be a drinker, but I do know a good drink. This one was magical. It was delicious. It was sweet, but not too sweet. It was just tart enough to hit the taste buds with enough force to activate the salivary glands, with a hint of mint that tied it all together and at once complimented each individual ingredient...a perfect blend of Plymouth gin, lime, mint and cucumber, served long. Most importantly, it kept me from doing something drastic...like going back to my room and ordering $800 worth of room service dessert.

If this entry sounds like an excerpt from my diary, forgive me, it is. It just so happens that my diary entry is about an absolutely fantastic drink. I think that's fair.

http://www.slanteddoor.com/

Thank you fate for orchestrating events in such a way that I was forced to find myself enjoying this delightful drink.

Funnel Cake...deep fried nostalgia.

I wish I could revise the food pyramid. Its outdated anyway so someone should. If that someone were me, it would look something like this:

6-11 servings of fried things,

3-5 servings of stuff with truffle oil on it,

2-4 servings of hot dogs...fully loaded,

2-3 servings of thai food,

And finally, use green leafy stuff sparingly.

Speaking of deep fried...there is one food item held in esteem above all others in this department...the FUNNEL CAKE. Deep fried dough covered in powdered sugar and cinnamon (I skip the fruit toppings for a more pure experience) and a native habitat of fairs, carnivals, sporting events, piers and amusement parks...its the pegasus of fried foods. I only indulge a few times a year since regular consumption would diminish the funnel cake's magical nostalgia inducing-properties... and also probably kill me.

I like to envision Norman Rockwell creating his iconic paintings while eating FUNNEL CAKE and drinking a Coke...Oh, and wrapped in an American flag while humming "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" on a freshly mowed lawn. Awkward? Not in the slightest!

I salute you oh mighty FUNNEL CAKE, oh bringer-inner of summer.

If you live in LA, your year round options are The Grove ( in the old school farmers market) and the Santa Monica Pier. If you live in the midwest, its probably sold in your local gas station. East coast residents can most likely hit up their local pier or sea side amusement park, and boast that their region is where the mighty FUNNEL CAKE originated in the US. If it ever comes up at trivia night...or if you really want to impress a date...go ahead and throw out that the FUNNEL CAKE is part of Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine with Germanic roots (I'd be impressed...but I don't know about normal girls).

If you like FUNNEL CAKE, you might also like: lemonade, the sound of cicadas, the smell of honeysuckle, golden retrievers, BBQ, muscle cars and hanging out at Wal Mart.

Japanese Chicken Meatballs...delicious wobbly bits.

Meatballs are like hot dogs. No one really knows what's in them, but they are so tasty that we ignore the unsettling feeling they might be made from the wobbly bits of various critters. Yakitori is Japanese grilled, skewered chicken. What I like about the Japanese is that they own their wobbly bits and proudly list them on the menu. At Nanban-Kan the CHICKEN MEATBALLS are delicious and one might safely assume that they are made from the non funky pieces of chicken. How do I make this sleuth like deduction? Because the funky pieces of chicken are listed all on their own. You can order skewered chicken skin, chicken tails, chicken neck, chicken cartilage and chicken liver (other creatures of land and sea are available in tasty skewered form as well). So, my point is that if all those lovely parts are being used in their own right, then the CHICKEN MEATBALLS are probably made with the boring ole leftover white breast meat. Here's a confession....I was eating with a friend who might not be used to my odd eating habits, so when I saw chicken tails on the menu (my favorite part of a chicken) I desperately wanted to indulge, but was embarassed. My loss. I'll have to go back and dive right into the funky stuff. Wobbly bits are generally my favorite bits.

Everything we ordered was very tasty (the lamb was also excellent), but I chose the CHICKEN MEATBALLS for blogging purposes because they were the standout favorite. The fact that everything on the menu is between $4 and $9 is pretty good too. Portions are small, but that gives you more opportunity to try a variety. We ordered up a storm between the two of us and our bill was under $60. Nice.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/nanbankan-los-angeles

Thanks Julie for the recommendation and thanks Jenn for testing it out with me! Next time I hope you are up for chicken tails.

Sriracha Chili Sauce...its really good, but skip the rooster tattoo.

If you don't like your food hot and spicy...stop reading this and go do something else. Maybe color coordinate your sock drawer...and I'll see you for the next post.

For those who do love a kick in the ole taste buds, I have your holy grail, SRIRACHA CHILI SAUCE. How hot is it? Well on the Scoville scale it's about a 2,200. What the hell is the Scoville scale you ask? It's the measure of the spicy heat a chili pepper puts out according to its capsaicin content. Capsaicin is the chemical compound that makes it burn your skin. Highest Scoville rating is 16 million. For comparison: police grade pepper spray is 5,300,000 and Tabasco is between 30,000 and 50,000. So really, SRIRACHA CHILI SAUCE isn't all that hot. Don't be fooled thought, it certainly has umpf.

Its contents are Thai chili paste (made from red jalapeno peppers) with garlic, vinegar, salt and sugar...no bits of real rooster as far as I know. The thing is, it's not just spicy, it also has a great flavor. That means you can stick it on pretty much anything...and Viola! The back of the bottle gives a really random list of uses: soups, hot dogs, pizza, hamburgers (mix it with a bit of mayo), chow mein and pasta. Well, that pretty much runs the gauntlet of variety. I'm actually eating it on a veggie burger right now, yesterday I put it on shrimp and the day before that I drizzled it on sauteed brussels sprouts. Basically, anything short of ice cream is legal...even then...it might just work.

Its made by Huy Fong (look for the rooster on the bottle) and has spread in popularity so much (10 million bottles a year) that now even Wal-Mart carries it.

Wal-Mart not a strong enough endorsement for you? Well one dude had the rooster tattooed on his leg...

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCIibRvIYRWb7Y3AMmH_hNEsLFZV2kSQVylfOEdZdyZufjtFaG3vHhA_QfoDKCp3dEq0_vxF0cXTYnJ4uogSMkAztZPAaHgw_8hEZGF1XiFBeOzYjzZS8KUw1j4Chnltzn32eJCQGZpSE/s1600-r/Sriracha+Leg.JPG

SRIRACHA CHILI SAUCE is really good....it's not that good...Let's hope he wasn't sober.

For the rest of us, lets just stick to putting it on food.

http://www.huyfong.com/no_frames/sriracha.htm

Blueberries...I feel so much closer to you now.

My parents took me on an outing today. I realize that sounds like I am institutionalized or under the age of four, but outing is such a nice word that suggests a throwback to simpler times when families used to do things together....like slave in the hot sun for food. That's exactly what we did...and it was awesome. See, buying food from a local farm is very in vogue right now. Actually going to a farm and picking it yourself is so hip the entire population of Silverlake is probably moving there as you read this. There being a farm. A farm being Underwood Family Farms in this case.

My folks and I picked BLUEBERRIES for about two hours. That equated to four large boxes and a stomach ache. It's a genuine good time and way less expensive than buying them from a store. Plus, you can never beat fresh and sun ripened. As an added bonus, blueberry season is summer so you will sweat off a pound... or twelve... working the field. Might be a good thing to do right before a big event or date. It's also very cathartic. I mean that both in the emotional and digestive sense. As the thought "one for me, one for the box" cycles in your head you get lulled in to a very peaceful place...until the digestive part hits. Oh, and BLUEBERRIES blow away the competition when it comes to antioxidants. So, you get your exercise, mediation and a healthy treat all in one place.

If you have kids, they'd probably enjoy it too. Well, they'd enjoy it more than other score-your-own-food options like: pick your own pork chop, collect your own foie gras, or name your own calf before we turn him into veal.

The farm we went to is outside of LA, but there are farms all across the country that let you do the same thing. Go. It's fun.

http://www.underwoodfamilyfarms.com/index.html

Thanks mom and dad for a fun day. Also, thank you for reading my blog and always telling me how funny I am. Please don't ever stop doing that.

Trader Joe's Wild Mushroom & Black Truffle Flatbread...you don't suck.

Lets see...crispy flatbread, black truffles, mozzarella cheese, wild mushrooms (not caged)...um, ok.

Best thing about this delightful treat is that it works as a snack OR meal. You can't say that about everything you know...take rack of lamb for instance. Great meal, bad snack. However, the suggested way to eat this delicacy is to cut it into strips and serve it as an appetizer. That works if you're into the whole sharing thing. My way of serving it is: 1 flatbread for breakfast, 1 flatbread for lunch, 1 more flatbread for dinner...possible additional flatbreads as snacks in between meals. Then, fall asleep and dream about eating flatbread.

Oh, remember the bottle of white truffle oil I posted a while back? If you've developed a bit of a truffle obsession (seems to be contagious), you can bust it out and sprinkle this WILD MUSHROOM & BLACK TRUFFLE FLATBREAD with it. Did I say sprinkle? I meant dump the bottle. Not that the flatbread can't stand alone, it most certainly can. I'd even say try it alone first. If you've already tapped a vein and have a white truffle oil IV going straight into your blood stream, that should suffice too.
The package says you can cut it up and put it on salad. That's just weird. Then you would have soggy flatbread on lettuce. Don't believe everything you read...except for this blog.

Package also says "Product of Italy." It's a good idea to put that on things like pizza, shoes, cheese and men. Really ups the appeal.
This flatbread can be found at Trader Joe's. Occasionally, I have found Italian men there also. No shoe department yet unfortunately. Ill keep looking.

Good job on this find Natalie. Keep looking for other things labeled "Product of Italy"...give them my number.

Dink's Pit BBQ Sauce...you know its good cause it has the word "Pit" in it

Tip of the day: A good BBQ restaurant should look as close to a dilapidated, smoke filled shack as possible. If you encounter one that is fancy and 'upscale'... run away. It should also have a lot of trucks parked in front made by Chevy, Ford or GMC. None of the trucks should be clean nor resemble a Range Rover in any way. Gun racks in those trucks are also a good sign. The clientele can vary but make sure there are at least 3 people in there who look like they can kick your ass.

Now, about BBQ sauce: Devotion to a particular sauce is totally personal and subjective. However, this is my blog so I'm going to claim that DINK'S PIT BBQ SAUCE is one of the best around bar none (I don't know what bar none means but it sounds very final). I like sweet sauce. Dink's is sweet. Done. Its located in my home town of Bartlesville, Oklahoma, and for 10 years I've been shipping it to Los Angles. Is BBQ in LA that bad you ask? Eh, it's alright, but not fantastic by far.

Dink's has served me well over the years; hamburgers, chicken, brisket and that one time I threw it on myself to camouflage a puppy poop stain while at a new boyfriend's house (True story. Full statement of events disclosed at request).

How does Oklahoma BBQ differ from the rest? Here's a quick lesson: Midwest (Kansas/Oklahoma/Texas) are known for thick, sweet and spicy tomato based sauce...lots of brisket. Memphis is more of a dry rub...big on ribs. Carolinas have a thinner, vinegar based sauce. Those are the most important ones...in my humble opinion. You can break it down further and add other regions...but Ill just stick to shipping mine in from Dinks and pouring it on myself in the event of another unfortunate puppy incident.

http://www.dinksbbq.com/